Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
