i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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