Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
