Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Help. Why am I so naked?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
