Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
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