Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
