You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
