Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
