So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
