This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
