ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
