The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
