so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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