Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
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