we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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