just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Let's paint friendship bongs
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
