How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
