i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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