we're blogging at a bar
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
