Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
