im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
