idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
