I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
