We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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