I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Reggie can tackle my bush.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize