Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize