he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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