just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
