I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Dignity is for republicans.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
