Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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