I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
