Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
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He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
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True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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