I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
