Dual....:-)
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Randomize
