chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
