I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
