The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
