And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
