Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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