after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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