Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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