Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Found the puke drawer
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
