My brain says no but my pants say off.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
