So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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