I forgot how hot balto sounded
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Alive.
So much puke
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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