Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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