I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
