I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
