I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
