he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
