we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
