what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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