Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
