how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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