That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
