Say something about gay babies.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
