Cold hands, warm shart.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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