there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just forgot I was standing up.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
