Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
