My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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