this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize