went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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